It’s true that I’m no longer in the classroom, but I am still on the front lines of public education. This is my fifteenth year in education. My job now is to support teachers. I’ve seen a lot; I would venture to say I know a lot. I don’t know enough to solve all the problems of today’s schools, but I do know this: Parents and teachers have to work together. We are losing teachers, good and passionate teachers, because they don’t feel trusted or valued.
As a parent, I am worried. I am worried that there won’t be enough passionate teachers left to steward my daughters all the way to college. My older daughter wants to be a teacher. I am worried for her. We need more good teachers. But I also want her to feel valued in her career. I just want her to be happy. It makes me feel torn, and then bad for feeling that way too.
So, this is my open letter to parents of school-aged children, from my former classroom teacher self…
Dear parents,
Thank you so much for entrusting me with your most precious gift. First and foremost, I want you to know I respect you as the most important person in your child’s life. I want you to be your child’s advocate. You should fight for your child. No one will fight for your child quite like you.
But I also want you to know this: I am your child’s advocate, too. I WILL fight for your child. I will do whatever I can to do right by your child. All I’m asking for is your confidence and your trust.
Today’s school climate can kind of feel contentious. It seems like there is suspicion on every side. Is the teacher being fair to my child? Are the parents being fair to me? I want you to know that I am someone you can trust. I am someone you can approach with questions or concerns. I want to hear your side.
I want you to know that I am making the best decisions I possibly can. I fully admit that I am going to make mistakes. I know that you and I will not always agree. I respect your views, and if we disagree I want to know quickly and respectfully so that we can resolve the struggle and continue to work for your child’s success.
I know how much you love your child, and I want you to know that I also love your child. I think about your child’s needs, wants, fears… in a way your child is mine, too, if only for a borrowed school year. I will dry your child’s tears. I will hold your child’s hand. I will comfort your child’s worries. I will nurse your child, coach your child, counsel your child the best I can.
But I can’t do any of this without you, parent. I need your partnership. I need your reinforcement. I need your help.
I would never dare to say I am more important than you, or that my opinion matters more than yours. I just ask you to listen to my opinion. We may have different views of what success looks like for your child. We likely know different versions of your child. I need to know your version. You need to know mine.
I want you to have an open mind. Please don’t assume everything your child says is the only version of events. I promise to do the same. Please remember I am an adult, even if I am a younger adult than you.
If your child tells you something that makes you question my actions or intentions, I want you to bring it to my attention. You could say, “My child said ___ happened and that bothered me. Could you tell me your version of what happened so I can better understand the situation?” You might still not agree and I need to know that. You can say “I feel this way ___. How can we work this out differently next time so we all feel ok with the outcome?”
I became a teacher because I love children. I love the light in their eyes when they “get it”. I love their little quirky senses of humor. I love their weird little ways of reasoning things out. I love hearing their passions. I love knowing their dreams. I love seeing their innocence. I love shaping their lives. They may not remember much about me when they grow up, but I promise you every single one of them has made an imprint on my heart.
I only want to work with you for the success of your child. I can only do that if I have your trust. I want you to know that I realize trust does not mean we agree 100% of the time. Trust means I want to know your side and I want you to know mine. I want to work out a path to agreement; I want a way to meet in the middle.
Thank you, again, for loaning me your most precious gift. I hope you know now how much I cherish that responsibility. I can’t wait to see what we can accomplish together this year!